Dear Destiny Friends,
Being responsible is one of the attributes of a reasonable rational
being. Nobody wants to associate with an irresponsible man or lady. In
fact, once you are perceived as an irresponsible person, you’ll lose
not only credibility but also opportunities. It is instructive to note
that you are the architect of your life. According to the Book of life,
your joy is your joy, your sorrow is your sorrow, no one can share it
with you.
Taking responsibility for your life is understanding that you are fully
in charge of your own destiny through your own decisions. Taking
responsibility for your life means that you acknowledge that no one has
the power to determine how your life turns out – not your friends, not
your parents, not even your spouse.
In the journey of life, we are always instructed to take care of our
life. As a student, you are advised to take your academics very serious,
as a man business man or woman, you are expected to make prudent
decisions, as a Christian or Muslim, you are expected to be of sound
moral character in order to not derail from the teachings of Christ or
Allah.
When you take responsibility for your life, you are simply taking
ownership of whatever concerns you. You don’t wait for anyone to
create an opportunity for you, rather you create the opportunity
yourself. Whether you fail or succeed, it’s up to you. Most of the time,
we blame other people for the misfortune that comes our way. As much as
you may reach out to cerebral minds to advise or suggest their kind
opinions to you, it’s imperative to you know that the buck stops with
you.
If you really want to get any work done, you’ll create the pathway.
Isn’t it true that the whole world sets apart for the man who knows
where he’s going? You may be experiencing many challenges in your
personal life, marriage, professional work, academic, or business. In
order to reset the button, you must take charge.
Let’s share some practical ways of how you can take responsibility for
your life.
Marriage:
Marriage is a sacred institution for mature minds. In law, before you go
into marriage, you must be of age and capacity. Capacity here means
maturity. If you are not fully prepared for marriage, you are bound to
experience challenges when you get married, Therefore, it is highly
advisable for you to take care of your financial life by having a stable
source of income nor matter how little it is, in that way, it will help
in planning. You’ll only enjoy your marriage when you decide the buck
stops
Another area you need to fix is emotional life and this has to do with
your mental state of mind. When you are not mentally rich upstairs, you
can make a little problem a big problem, but if you can mentally strong
you can make a big problem little the way you handle it.
Finance:
One of the best ways to study a human being is to see how he or she
spends his or her money. Just like you can use time to decipher the
interest of someone, in the same way, you can use money to know what
someone likes. The true test of financial maturity is being able to
control your appetite and buying only what you need as opposed to what
you want. If you don’t take care of your finances it will control you
like a slave. No one is responsible for your money or lack of it. No one
can make you broke if you don’t give them permission. Have you ever
wondered why some people are able to build wealth from humble
beginnings, while others remain stuck in the same place despite having
better incomes? To build wealth from your current income, you might need
to spend money on a strict budget.
Professional work:
To succeed in work, you must be ahead of your game. If you need a
promotion, you must be proactive and detailed. No one is responsible for
your performance or lack of it. So long as you believe your boss is
against you, you’ll never grow in your career. You’ll grow in your
career when you realize you’re responsible for your professional
growth. You’ll never be fired from any job when you know you’re
responsible for keeping your job.
You Start Achieving Your Goals
This is one of the greatest benefits of taking responsibility for your
life. Here’s the thing about success – it is never accidental. If
you want to become a star athlete, you have to sacrifice your morning
sleep so that you can train more. If you want to build a successful
business, you have to sacrifice the weekly night out with your group of
friends so that you can work on your business.
Quit the blame game
One of the hallmarks of someone who has not taken full responsibility
for their life is the propensity to blame others for everything wrong in
their life. Whatever kind of life you want to live, not one will give it
to you or take it away from you.
Stop Complaining
Just like finding someone to blame, complaining about your situation or
circumstances puts you in the position of a victim who has no control
over their life. The reality is that the world is not an ideal place,
and therefore, things will not always go your way. If things don’t go
as expected, or if something happens to put you in a position of
disadvantage, instead of complaining about the situation, focus on what
you can learn from the situation and think of what you can do to get in
order to get yourself from the situation.
Take responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, words, and actions.
To take responsibility for your life is to take responsibility for your
powers of thinking, feeling, speaking, and acting, because this is the
structure of all human experience. You create your life with your
thoughts, feelings, words, and actions. You take responsibility when you
accept that the thoughts you have, are your thoughts coming from your
mind. How you feel happens in your body and is a result of your
thoughts. The words you speak come from your mouth and voice. The
actions you take are taken by you.
What this means is that nobody can make you think, feel, say or do
anything. Nobody can push your buttons, because you are the button
maker!
Make yourself happy
Taking responsibility for your happiness is liberating. Firstly, to
realize that happiness does not come from outside of you. It is not the
job of your partner, parent, friend, child, to make you happy.
To be happy is a decision and the gateway to happiness is gratitude.
Keep a gratitude journal and you will find lots to be happy about. Also,
do things that make you feel happy. Listen to your favorite music,
surround yourself with beauty, express your creativity, do acts of
kindness, etc. According to Miya Yamanouchi, “Don’t let society fool
you into believing that if you don’t have a girlfriend or boyfriend
then you’re destined for a life of misery. The Dalai Lama has been
single for the last 80 years and he is one of the happiest people on
earth. Stop searching for happiness in places outside of yourself and
start finding it where it has always been: within you.”
Live in the present moment
Life is now. There is only one moment, now. The past is history, the
future is a mystery, so there is only now, this moment. Take
responsibility for this moment and make the best of it to redeem the
past and create the future you want.
It’s easier to blame your partner. It’s easier to blame your boss.
It’s easier to blame a father who was never there for you. It’s
easier to blame the economy. It’s easier to blame an errant boyfriend.
It’s easier to blame a controlling woman. It’s easier to blame a
misfortune in your past. While losers blame others, winners take
responsibility for their lives.
Therefore, the first step to taking control over your life is to quit
the blame game and acknowledge that everything boils down to you. Once
you do this, several positive things will happen in your life.
You will start achieving more of your goals, your health and finances
will improve, you will enjoy better relationships with others, you will
become more courageous, your decision-making will improve, and your
life, in general, will become better.
_Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a self-discovery expert and
works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal
Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny
[1] – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of
gloemi.com [2]. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com_
Henry Ukazu
henrous@gmail.com
(646) 399 4443
